Doorways

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “when one door closes another opens.” It’s part of a longer quote attributed to Alexander Graham Bell:

When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.

I know we can become so accustomed to whatever has been in front of us, that when something new, different, unexpected comes along, we don’t see. Maybe we don’t want to see it … maybe we’re not ready to see it … either way, we miss the gift.

4 of Cups

When Shai died last Friday, it was probably one of the worst days of my life. I felt completely defeated, as if everything that was important in my life had been stripped away and I was desolate. Since I adopted him in 2013, I was rarely away from him more than a few hours at a time, and at that, only a few days a week at most. I was accustomed, not just to his presence and his loving and delightful personality – but to his heartbeat, his breath, his scent. The rhythm of my life was braided with the rhythms of his life and suddenly … all that was gone.


Over the years, I had come to understand that ways that Shai opened my heart, allowed me the opportunity to love unabashedly and joyfully without the fear of being rejected or hurt. Unconditional love both in giving and receiving. He welcomed being loved and cuddled, he welcomed my silly made up songs while I was driving and my reading sections of books to him in the evenings. And in that welcoming, I found healing.

I also had come to understand the many ways that having Shai in my life limited me. “I can’t because Shai …” was a common (and in my heart welcome) refrain that I said over and over again. I allowed and encouraged those limitations. I had to stay small, stay protected, stay put because I had chosen to take on the responsibility of this little soul companion.

And then he was gone. No limits. No excuses. If you read the poem I posted yesterday, you’ll have a glimpse of what that meant in the moment.


The reality is, that as I mourned the loss of my best and daily companion, I was also aware that energies in my life were shifting. I felt like I was a deck of cards that were being shuffled and I wasn’t even sure which deck I was any more. And within three days, I suddenly encountered opportunities that would not have been possible (in my mind, my beliefs) before Friday.

Right now, my head is whirling. I am still being shuffled by my Inner Self and my companions in the Spiritual Realms are cheering me on … along with Shai who is now revealed as a teacher and guide who had taken form for a few years to get a better sense of what was stopping me from moving more deeply and more passionately into my life mission. He gets it now.

I am standing on the threshold of some unexpected and very welcome possibilities. I am not – yet – completely sure which doorway I’ll step through and I won’t know until I make my decisions what is waiting on the other side. Other than Shai, and my companions in Spirit, they’ll be there and I’ll be just fine.


You can support my work on Patreon with an ongoing monthly donation. 
Your patronage will allow me to 
create audio meditations and visualizations, 
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My big dream is to create a collaborative and integrative healing center. 
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