Lies

There are very few things that ‘get’ me the way that lies do. I understand little white lies that do no harm and ease your life and the lives of others. The key word here is ‘little’. Of no consequence. But it seems that lies are a big commodity right now both in the larger, social world as well as more intimate and personal worlds. Lies rip apart the fabric of relationships and often leave situations that are irreparable.

Of course, when people lie about me – it brings it to a whole ‘nother level of ‘gotten’. I feel personally attacked when others deliberately lie about what I have said or done. And I feel even more frustrated when the people who receive the lies don’t ask me if it’s true. It’s a whole ‘nother level of frayed and potentially irreparable relationships. And for what? That’s what confuses me. What is the benefit to the one who chooses to lie – to me or about me. Is there some kind of joy that they receive from their propensity to deceive? It is strange.

As a friend said to me, “don’t give up your power to them.” I am pretty good at not being triggered by most circumstances, and when I am, it’s usually short-lived. Lying has been the thing that I’ve held on to the longest.

I am 100% certain that at least one of you reading this has had the experience of being lied to or being lied about; maybe even having lied to harm another. And while some people can let it roll of their backs, others of us are not so sanguine. So, I asked for guidance on behalf of those of who would like to respond differently.


The Moon card holds many stories, and one of the stories is all about deception – whether it’s deceiving yourself or deceiving others, and often the two go hand in hand. I would guess that in many situations the one who chooses to lie must deceive themselves pretty thoroughly in order to spread the deception outward.

We’ve talked before about how things look both familiar and strange in the light of the moon – and that is what happens to truth. The deceiver and the deceived and the victim of deception are all wandering through this surreal landscape, each in their own roles. And, let’s be honest, we all been each of the roles at one time or another. This card sets out the situation.

The Six of Pentacles brings us into how it feels to lie and be lied to. The relationships is clearly uneven – one holds all the power, one receives a trickle of benefit and the other receives nothing at all. I imagine that the one who chooses to lie may see themselves in all three roles – they do hold a tremendous amount of power – the ability to influence some people, usually to the detriment of other people. And they often trickle out a bit of truth along with the lies, just enough to be convincing. They may also see themselves as the one who received nothing – the victim of some sort – and so the only way they can feel some kind of power is to grab it and wield it against someone who appears to be vulnerable.


You can see that all the cards (18 and 6) are multiples of 3. The Empress – the creatrix, the one who gives birth to her own creations. The environment of lies is one of creativity – some people who are habitual liars were perhaps meant to be storytellers in another culture and another time. Their creativity is twisted into the lies.

Their strength has no place to be expressed in this culture and so they turn to harm. I know that I was more willing to lie when I was younger, but stopped when it became painful – to me! Lying makes me physically ill at this point in my life, even if I wanted to – the harm is too much. My creativity moved in more positive directions.


The Moon and the Six of Pentacles gives me some insight into how lies might develop and come into being. The final card, the Six of Wands is for those of us who are the casualty of lies. It’s the card of victory.

Imagine, you are seated upon your white charger, you’ve returned from a negotiation or a battle and you were victorious. Your community surrounds and celebrates you. You sit upright and acknowledge the acclaim.

Sounds arrogant? It’s not. You’re not perfect, neither am I. However, we have all done good in the world and we deserve to be acknowledged and celebrated for that good When we are feeling oppressed by someone who is trying to take us down, in some form, we can return to our remembrance of our true value in the world.

In truth, lies have no meaning to the one who is confident in themselves. It would be as if someone turned to you, viciously, and said: your hair is full of frogs and salamanders. Unless you’ve just wandered out of a swamp, that is clearly a lie – and just as clearly it’s laughable. You wouldn’t take it seriously, you wouldn’t become offended or angry or hurt. You might laugh, or smile, or look at them with confusion because it is so clearly untrue.

We can carry that feeling of absolute confidence of our knowledge about the truth of ourselves. We can smile, gently, maybe even in compassion, and shake it off. That’s our guidance.

And perhaps, this is also the guidance for those who currently feel compelled to lie in order to achieve some kind of satisfaction. Perhaps they also can learn something from the victory card and having a clear sense of being celebrated for the good that they have done rather than for the unkindness they perpetuate.


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4 thoughts on “Lies

  1. phyllismt says:

    Emma, your words are well spoken. Your last sentence brings it all together…and makes the action possible!

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  2. Phyllis Lefohn says:

    Well spoken, Emma. Your last sentence is the action that makes it all possible: “We can bless them and move on.”

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  3. phyllismt says:

    Thoughtful and insightful. I have never had much tolerance for lying, even as a kid, and was disturbed by discoveries that even people I trusted once in awhile lied to me. As an adult, I have at times been viciously attacked by those whose entire lives are built on lying. I can feel compassion because I realize that the fact that they need to lie in order to survive means they are having a really tough time living life and that, most likely beneath the bravado, they have almost no sense of self. At the same time, the lies do tremendous damage and ultimately, I must leave those folks in order for me to survive in wholeness.

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    • Emma Deva says:

      Phyllis, you are so right – even when the people in our lives are people that we see and love with our hearts, it’s also important to create appropriate boundaries and keep them on the periphery rather than closer to the center of our lives. We can bless them and move on.

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