What do you do when someone tries to shame you? When they want you to question your experiences, your observations, your knowledge, or intuition?
For me, it’s very unsettling – I can feel the ground slipping beneath my feet and the slippery slope of falling back into old beliefs, old thought patterns, old and not very useful reactions.
But, I can feel it! After years of working on awareness and mindfulness, I am able to notice the slippage well before it has a chance to settle over me like a threadbare coat – it might be falling apart but it can still limit me. And I have tools! Practical tools like breathing into the physical places in my body that feel tight (like my throat) when my peace of mind is threatened. And that’s great in the moment to keep me grounded and able to respond rather than react. To understand that there is a bigger picture, even if I can’t quite see it right now.
I can also examine the thoughts that come up – the ones that question my worthiness, my personal authority, my innate wisdom. I can examine the fear, anger, sadness that comes up with these thoughts. I can choose to buy into them … or not.
The encounters I’ve had in the past few days, I chose not to. I’m also aware that when I see repeated patterns coming from the outside, that there must be something inside that requires further consideration.
I’ll often look for guidance in the I Ching, the Tarot, or — like today — the Runes. I pulled these two:
I consider the difference between the domesticated ox and the wild ox. One is power that has literally been harnessed and put to work for our benefit. Uruz is not that power – it is the undomesticated power that cannot be controlled but can be befriended. As a Taurus, I relate to these fellow creatures. When disturbed, the aurochs will lower its head to charge forward with its horns. No longer able to see clearly, it’s relying on creating fear and using brute strength to get its way. So, maybe not the best option in these situations – though I realize the desire is real and present in me.
This rune is a symbol of the god Tyr who puts laws and justice into place. The control of this rune is the opposite of the wild energy of Uruz, so it seems that I have a choice. To use the appropriate combination of law and justice to resolve the situations.
My interpretation of the reading, given the juxtaposition of these two particular runes, is that it’s okay to feel like the wild ox and to feel the desire to charge forward and gore my opponents. Anger is not an inappropriate feeling as long as it is held within the confines of my personal mind. I don’t need to spread it out to friends or family – through gossiping or complaining or undermining. I can take the road of inner justice and, if necessary, outer law.