Disturbing

I’ve had a few experiences recently that have been disturbing.  Now, usually we think of disturbing as ‘bad’ … we don’t want to be disturbed.

I looked it up, of course, and found the definitions were:

  • to break up the quiet or serenity
  • to agitate
  • to upset, make uneasy, or anxious
  • to break up the settled order
  • to interrupt
  • to inconvenience

For sure, we don’t want to be agitated or upset or anxious … we don’t even want to be inconvenienced, but … ah, I like this but…

If I hadn’t been disturbed, I would never have broken up the settled order of my life in Massachusetts to move into the west.  If I hadn’t been disturbed, I would have stayed, suffering, in Dillon.  If I hadn’t been disturbed, I wouldn’t have gone back to graduate school.

Think of the pebble dropping into the stillness of the pond.  Think of the ripples.  Think of how things are re-ordered in a new way.  Sometimes slight .. sometimes major.

There are people in my life who are disturbing to me .. my interactions with them cause major ripples for me.  The effect is my understanding that something needs to be changed, that I need to be different.  I love these people!  Without them, I would be a still, serene being who never changed.  Sometimes the ripples are waves, sometimes the effect is uncomfortable, but always, in the longer run (or the bigger picture, depending on your metaphor of choice) I am better for it.

Sometimes the person in my life who is disturbing .. is me.  Sometimes my actions are the pebbles (or boulders) that drop into the pond of my life.  The effect is still the same – something must change – and that something … is me.

geralt

From my blog archives 2008

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